Our Biggest Mistake
From the moment we are conceived in our mother’s womb, we know of no problem, no pain. Everything we need to sustain us is passed through the umbilical cord. All we do is sit, and float; evolve and grow in peace.
During the process of our birth, we are thrust from this warm familiar environment into a loud, bright, and painful world. We start to cry out for comfort, for food... for help. Sometimes we are heard, other times we are ignored.
In truth, the majority of us spend the rest of our lives reaching out for that comfort. We seek love to make us feel loved; work, sex, or substances to give us a sense of purpose, peace or joy.
If you are lucky, as I’ve been lucky, you will achieve success in everything you ever hoped for.
Then you will find, that you have committed your greatest mistake.
Once you have everything, you will find that you still have nothing. Nothing, that is of any real importance. The pain will still be there, the longing, still present. These things remain because, in spite of everything, you still have not really returned home. In the evolution of our growth, we find that seeking comfort from external things is limited and often futile. Real Happiness, as they say, is an inside job.
Returning home is returning to that blissful state of the union within yourself. It's just like your earliest moments spent in the womb. Only this time, you will learn and experience that the real womb is within YOU and not your mother. In connecting with yourself you will find that everything you really need comes from the safety and security of your own being.
In order to start connecting with yourself here are a few basic but CRUCIAL first steps:
1) Make Time To Spend Time With Yourself: Successful people are often busy people. They have 1001 commitments with work, family, and friends. Make YOU a priority. Take yourself out on regular dates. Give yourself special time in the morning, evening or mid-day to sit in silence and give yourself a mental hug.
2) Love Yourself Like You are Your Own World's Best Parent: Take care of your body. Take care of your mind. Be your own greatest loving caretaker and treat yourself the way you KNOW you really deserve. Leave that 2nd cookie on the tray. Go to bed early when you feel compelled to stay up late. The more you discover that you are your own kindest friend, the you are to find a place inside yourself to call home.
3) Return to That Home When the Waters Get Rough: Most of us regularly call out to a third party when times get tough. Try reversing that trend and turn to YOU in times of need. When you are in pain, try to journal, go for a run, draw a bath, or just tuck yourself in bed and cry. There’s a HUGE difference between aloneness and loneliness. In trying the technique of facing the weight of our pain ourselves, we learn that it's not “isolation” when you are connecting to yourself to heal.
There are still times when it's warranted to reach out for help, stay up late, or eat that extra cookie. But in the practice of these principles, one learns how to free themselves from the external dependencies that keep them trapped in cycles of dissatisfaction and lack. In cultivating a stronger relationship within our own inner being, we discover the limitless potential of our own personal power and the deepest ocean of our own inner peace.
Interested in Learning More?
Contact: Andrea Vielma, MA LMFT 541-350-2200
Andrea Vielma, MA LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in transformational therapy services that help identify and remove personal blocks to fulfillment, happiness and joy.
