Something You "Should" Know
Every client that has sat down in my therapy office has one thing in common. To their own individual reports, there is something in their life that is causing them great turmoil and discontent.
In peeling back the layers to each of their individual stories we learn that this discontent is a byproduct of their own manifestation. The hard truth of the matter is that discontent is a product of their own mind.
Think about this simple and profound truth for just a moment. Think about one simple fact of your day to day that brings you discomfort and steals your joy. Ten times out of ten, you will discover that what is robbing you of your happiness is the mental thought that things are not as they “Should Be”.
Your spouse is not acting the way they should. Your children, your co-workers, your boss or your friends are creating disappointments within yourself. Moreover, people who seek out help are often highly dissatisfied with themselves. They feel that they are not what they “should be”; they are not feeling how they “should feel”. Therefore, if you want to feel whole, happy, and content, there is only one place to start that will guarantee this feeling. That is of course, with yourself.
What are the “shoulds” that occupy your mental constructs? What are the “shoulds” from society, family, or yourself that you’ve internalized? What are the “shoulds” that stand between you and your joy?
Take a moment to jot these “shoulds” down. Bring these ideas into your consciousness and recognize them as simple, malleable thoughts. If you think things aren’t fair, question: who said they “should” be? If you think things are too tough, question: who said they “should” be any different?
Life is hard and yes, the world is very often unfair. But it’s hard to see the big picture when all we can see from our vantage point is the now. Trust the messiness of the process and know that within each of your struggles is the power of pure potential to launch you into a new stage of growth. These aren’t always external problems to be solved. Rather, our troubles are higher callings to shift our internal perspective and have greater control over the emotional nature of our lives.
Interested in knowing more about how you can stop “shoulding’ on yourself?
Contact: Andrea Vielma, MA LMFT 541-350-2200
Andrea Vielma, MA LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in transformational therapy services that help identify and remove personal blocks to fulfillment, happiness and joy.
