On The Other Side of Pain
I recently had a client plop down on the therapy chair and bubbly report, “I’ve had a great week!”. As a human being, I was happy for them but as I therapist, I wanted to know more.
As it turns out, the “good week” report arose from a series of circumstances in which the client had “gotten their own way”. Things on the outside were precisely as they had hoped. The people in their life treated them as they felt they “should”. The expectations in each passing day went precisely as planned. I furrowed my brow a bit.
Despite the excided happiness my client was reported in the now, I was most assured that it would be fleeting. In fact, I knew that the root causes of their past unhappiness would find no real way of resolution as long as things went swimmingly in their external world.
Here in lies the precise magic of human struggle. It is perhaps the greatest reason why I champion the experience and challenge of pain. For as long as we are granted asylum from our tribulations, we are not actually strengthening the muscles we need to withstand the storms of life.
With this as a guiding perspective think to yourself for a moment:
What challenges are you currently facing?
Where in those challenges are hidden opportunities for growth?
The avoidance of pain has a paradoxical effect. The more you run from it, the more it chases you on your coattails.
In doing an about face and staring squarely into the abyss of all that scares you, you learn to work through the things that will would otherwise continue to find ways to steal your happiness until the day you die.
Challenges have a way of re-appearing in one form or another until they are mastered. Use this wisdom as a guiding idea to face your fears now. The peace and happiness you crave is a short leap away. It is, on the other side of these fears. Enjoy your ‘good days’ but know that those are not enough. Your real “good days” are those that come when you stand up smiling in strength, proud of all the ways that you’ve grown and that you’ve endured.
To learn more about how you can face your challenges for lasting effect
Contact: Andrea Vielma, MA LMFT 541-350-2200
Andrea Vielma, MA LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in transformational therapy services that help identify and remove personal blocks to fulfillment, happiness and joy.
